MJ Not Happy With Tyler Zeller Wearing Kobes

“Next time I see you wearing those Kobe Bryants, I’m gonna take em right off.”

That’s right MJ, keep that pimp hand strong.You are Michael Jeffrey Jesus Ghandi Ali Fucking Jordan. Number twenty three.  Six rings, five MVPs, ten First Team All-NBA, we know the drill.  You can’t have anyone wearing the Carolina Blue and walking around with some 5-ring Mickey Mouse bullshit on their feet.  Especially not the nerdy kid from Road Trip.

MJ’s minding his own business, rockin his ripped jeans trying to get on an ATV like any normal person would be doing in the tunnel at a basketball stadium, and Zeller and his boys just walk by and disrespect him like that?  I’m surprised he didn’t have him kicked off the team.  Why do you think Larry Drew is gone?  Jordan caught him with Bacon Neck and shipped him out.  You wear Hanes Lay-Flats or you get the fuck out.

Jordan is so upset, he takes that completely normal giant remote control he is holding – which was about to start up that ATV – and he calls the spaceship to come pick him and Newman from Seinfeld up so they can bail.

“I don’t care if your feet kill you, you better be wearin them Jordans.”

There’s your million dollar slogan right there.  Freudian slip or egotistical threat?  I can’t decide.  Anyway, calling out the team for wearing the wrong shoes, making fun of them for getting killed by Duke, totally pulling off those ripped jeans, and then telling them that he will get them anything they want if they make the Final Four? Claaaaaaaaaaaasic MJ.  Dude is untouchable even without the Hitler mustache.


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